When you consider
fighting with the cellophane wrapper on your bag of
potato chips as exercise!!
When you turn on the
TV, crawl into bed and watch 3 hours of wrestling because
the remote control is on the other side of the room!!
When you don't move
away from the curb, even after a truck splashes you!!
When it's too much
trouble to get your umbrella out of your car during a
sudden downpour!!
Depressed:
When YOU COUNT
YOUR ANXIETY ATTACKS AS WORKOUTS!!
When you pause the
exercise tape 90 seconds into the warm-up to have a
cigarette.
When you watch "The People's
court" and yell, "Hang'em both!!"
When you list all the
things you could have done with the money you spent on
therapy!!
When you watch golf on
TV!!
When you hate New
Year's Eve!!
When getting the mail
is one of the highlights of your day!!
Boring:
When your dog falls asleep while you're
talking to him!!
When you spend more
than 20 seconds considering whether Elvis is actually
dead!!
When you take your
cat's aloof behavior personally!!
When you have a choice
between a blind date and a nap, and you choose the nap!!
When staying up all
night is no longer cool!!
When your idea of a
vacation is to plunk yourself down in one place and not
budge for a week!!
Getting Old:
When overnight, that amusing streak at
your temple turns into gray hair!!
When you find yourself
counting the years till you can join AARP!!
When you start bringing
lawn chairs to outdoor concerts!!
When life insurance
starts making sense!!
When you read the fine
print..........If
you can see it!!
When it takes 3 days to
recover from raking leaves!!
When you can nap at
will!!
When your arms aren't
long enough to keep the newspaper in focus!!
When people start
warning you about shoveling snow!!
When your computer has
more memory than you do!!
Unpopular:
When the only person who writes to you
is Ed McMahon!!
When the person next to
you on the train falls asleep on your shoulder and you
consider it a first date!!
When you think the dog is scratching at
the door because he wants to go out, but he wants you
to go out!!
When you're approved
for a credit card with a $20 spending limit!!
When you stop buying
clothes and start buying power tools!!
When you call an 800
party line and no one will talk to you!!
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