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1. What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?
One baits his hook, the other hates his book.
2. What is the difference between a gardener and a billiard player?
One minds his peas, the other minds his cues.
3. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
A jeweler sells watches, a jailer watches cells.
4. What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, the other trains the mind.
5. What is the difference between a tailor and a horse trainer?
One mends a tear, the other tends a mare.
6. What key in music makes a good army officer?
A Sharp Major.
7. What kind of a truck does a ballerina drive?
A toe (tow) truck.
8. What kind of artist can't you trust?
A sculptor because he is always chiseling or a con artist.
9. What kind of car does an electrician drive?
A Volts Wagon (Volkswagen).
10. What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?
A dressmaker sews what he gathers, a farmer gathers what he sows.
11. Why did the spy pull the sheets over his head?
He was an undercover agent.
12. Why did the waiter stomp on his customer's hamburger?
Because the customer was in a hurry and told the waiter to step on it.
13. Why did the woman who mended bowls go crazy?
She was around cracked pots (crackpots) too long.
14. Why didn't the girl go to work in the wool factory?
Because she was too young to dye (die).
15. Why do misers talk so little?
Because they don't like to put their two cents in.
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