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1. What driver doesn't have a license?
2. Why do statues and paintings of George Washington always show him standing?
Because he would never lie.
3. What has a neck, but no head?
4. What has one foot on each side and one in the middle?
5. What did the guitar say to the rock star?
Quit picking on me.
6. What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the beach?
7. What kind of can never needs a can opener?
8. Here on earth it is true, yesterday is always
before today; but there is a place where yesterday always follows today. Where?
In a dictionary.
9. How do you avoid falling hair?
Step out of the way.
10. Why did the doctor switch jobs?
He lost his (patience) patients.
11. What has 10 legs and drools?
12. Where do old useless bowling balls end up?
In the gutter.
13. What did one scale say to the other scale?
You have a way (weigh) about you.
14. Did you ever see the salad dressing?
No, but I saw the bacon strip.
15. What did the mayonnaise say to the mustard?
"Close the door, I'm dressing."
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