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1. What is a drill sergeant?
An army dentist.
2. What has fifty legs but can't walk?
Half a centipede.
3. What is a sick crocodile?
An ail-ligator (alligator).
4. What is better than presence of mind in an automobile accident?
Absence of body.
5. What is the best thing to take when you're run over?
The license plate of the vehicle that hit you.
6. What is the best way to cure acid indigestion?
Stop drinking acid.
7. What is the best way to lose weight?
Learn to play the piano, and you can pound away all you want.
8. What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?
One knows the stops, the other stops the nose.
9. What is the difference between a hill and a pill?
A hill is hard to get up, a pill is hard to get down.
10. What happens when a pony gets sunburned?
You get a little horseradish (reddish).
11. What nuts give you a cold?
Cachoo (cashew) nuts.
12. What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
13. What would happen if you swallowed uranium?
You would get atomic ache (a stomach ache).
14. What would you call a small wound?
A short cut.
15. When a girl slips on the ice, why can't her brother help her up?
He can't be a brother and assist her (a sister) too.
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