26. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
27. We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory, I hope there's no pop quiz.
28. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
29. I didn't like my beard at first, then it grew on me.
30. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
31. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
32. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
33. Is it just me, or are circles pointless?
34. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
35. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
36. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
37. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
38. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
39. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
40. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
41. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
42. A crowded elevator smells different to a midget.
43. I dropped out of Communism class because of lousy Marx.
44. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
45. All of the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen and the police have nothing to go on.
46. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One hat said to the other: "You stay here; I'll go on a head."
47. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
48. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
49. Haunted French pancakes gives me the crepes.
50. An optometrist accidently fell into his lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.