The Pope is visiting DC and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac, sailing on the presidential yacht.
They're admiring the sights when, all of a sudden, the Pope's hat blows off his head and into the water. The Secret Service men start to launch a boat, but Bush waves them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take care of this. Don't worry."
Bush then steps off the yacht and onto the surface of the water. He walks out to the Holy Father's hat, bends over and picks it up, then walks back across the water to the yacht and climbs aboard. He hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence.
The next morning the topic of conversation among Democrats on the Hill, CBS News, NBC News, ABC News, the New York Times, Hollywood celebrities, and in France and Germany is "Bush Can't Swim."
The phone rings at FBI headquarters.
"Hello? Hello, is this the FBI? Yes. What do you want?"
"This is Jack, I'm calling to report my neighbor, Pete!
He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Pete's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they chop up every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They yell at Jack and leave.
The phone rings at Pete's house.
"Hey, Pete! Did the FBI come?"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about how great their fathers are.
The first one says, "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, and he gets there before the arrow".
The second one says, "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".
The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. Then he says, "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and is home by 3:45!"
One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government.
The boy turns to his father and asks, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?"
The father replies without hesitating, "Oh, about ten percent."
Before the inauguration, George W. was invited to a "get acquainted" tour of the White House.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked President Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. He was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal!
That afternoon, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "when I am President, I'll have my own personal gold urinal!"
Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.
That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone."
"What do you mean?," his wife asked.
"Our son is going to be a politician!," replied the very unhappy father.
A little boy wanted $100 to buy a new bike, and his mother told him to pray to God for it. He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up. Then he
decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they opened it and decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a check for $5.00. He thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank-you letter to God, which read:
Thank you very much for the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington. As usual, they deducted $95.00 for themselves.