Why did the man put his car in the oven?
He wanted a hot rod.
Father: How were the exam questions?
Father: Then why look so unhappy?
Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy!
Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper.
Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
Where do cows go on a Saturday night?
To the Moo-vies.
Where does a penguin keep his money?
In a Snow Bank.
What did you learn in school today?
"Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!"
What do you get when you cross the world's best fairy tale teller with the world's worst mammal?
A Whale of a Tale.
Why do baby pigs eat so much?
Because they want to make hogs of themselves.
My teacher reminds me of history
She's always repeating herself!
What's a quick way to double your money?
Fold it in half!
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn't know you could yodel.
On which side does a leopard have the most spots?
On the Outside.
Teacher: If I bought a hundred donuts for a total of ten dollars, what would each donut be?
I'm learning ancient history?
So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times!
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What kind of lighting did Noah use on the ark?
Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you wrote "Me, neither."
Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday.
Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!