Teacher: What kind of birds do you find in captivity?
Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
How do you stop a charging rhinoceros?
Take away his credit cards.
Who was the biggest thief in history?
Atlas, he held up the whole world!
I'm not going back to school ever again
The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions!
Father: Why did you get such a low score in that test?
Father: You were absent on the day of the test?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!
Why did the girl throw the clock out the window?
Because she wanted to see time fly!
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pupil: Life imprisonment!
Don't cry. It's only a joke.
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
What disappears when you stand up?
Why didn't the nose want to go to school?
Because he was tired of getting picked on!
Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making?
Dad: Why is that, what are you making?
Teacher: What is further away, Australia or the Moon?
Pupil: Australia, you can see the Moon at night!
Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?
Because he was on a roll.
Why didn't the two 4's want any dinner?
Because they already 8!
"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography.
What's your excuse?"
"Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"
What happened when the wheel was invented?
It caused a revolution!