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571. Why was the piano tuner hired to play on the baseball team?
Because he had perfect pitch.
572. What does a doctor do with a sick zeppelin?
He tries to helium (heal him).
573. Which two letters of the alphabet have nothing between them?
N and P because they have O between them.
574. How do you fix a short circuit?
575. What does a dentist say when you knock on his door?
"Gum (come) on in."
576. What traps warmth,
sprays forth ice and water, yet slips through your fingers with ease?
577. How can you dive without getting wet?
Go sky diving.
578. What sickness do cabbages come down with?
579. What sickness do motorcycle riders come down with?
580. How would you express in two letters that you were twice the weight of your friend?
I-W ( I double you).
581. I have two arms, but fingers none. I have two feet, but cannot run. I carry well, but I have found I carry best with my feet OFF the ground. What am I?
582. Why don't flies fly through tight knit screen doors?
Because they don't want to strain themselves.
583. What do lawyers wear when they go jogging?
584. Where do they send sick librarians?
To the hush-pital.
585. How does a sick pig get to the hospital
In a ham-bulance.
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