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556. What is nothing but holes tied to holes, yet it is as strong as iron?
A metal chain.
557. What does a dog get when it finishes obedience school?
A pet degree (pedigree).
558. How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.
559. When was baseball first mentioned in the Bible?
In the first line: in the big inning.....
560. Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?
He doesn't believe in dogs.
561. What is it that a man can use for shaving, cleaning his clothes, and sleeping in?
A razor, a brush and pajamas.
562. Why don't bananas snore?
They don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
563. What did the tree say to the tree surgeon?
"Leaf (leave) me alone."
564. Why did the silly man tiptoe past the campers?
He didn't want to wake the sleeping bags.
565. Why was the baseball player asked to come along on the camping trip?
They needed someone to pitch the tent.
566. Why don't anteaters have infections?
Because they're filled with anty-bodies.
567. What was one of the greatest feats of strength ever performed?
Wheeling, West Virginia.
568. How can you tune into the sun?
Use a sundial.
569. What gets 25 miles to a gallon of plasma?
570. How can you tell when the ocean wants to meet you?
The tidal (tide'll) wave.
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