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526. Why was the chef hired to coach the baseball team?
Because he knew how to handle a batter.
527. Which soccer player is never promoted?
The left back.
528. What do you call someone with a big red nose and purple hair who takes a plane from New York to Alaska?
529. What kind of singers do you find in Yellowstone National Park?
530. Why should you always remain calm when you encounter cannibals?
Because it is better not to get into a stew.
531. Why is a garden like a story?
Because they both have plots.
532. What kind of music do you hear when you throw a stone into a lake?
533. What is a chef's favorite dog?
534. Why did the football sports fan spend so much time in the bathroom?
He liked to watch the toilet bowl.
535. What is the difference between a tennis racket and a doughnut?
You can't dunk a tennis racket into a glass of milk.
536. If Dick's father is John's son, what relation is Dick to John?
Dick is John's grandson.
537. When you take away two letters from this five letter word you get one. What's the word?
Stone, atone, etc.
538. What does a parrot say on the Fourth of July?
"Polly wants a firecracker."
539. What did the farmer use to cure his sick pig?
540. When do boxers start wearing gloves?
When the weather gets cold.
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